Cologne
by Sunset
Summary: Goren and Eames investigate the rape of a co-worker.


COLONGE

The squad room had quieted down for the night, as much as a squad room ever quiets down. Alex had already left for the day, her and Bobby's latest case solved and locked up tight, literally. Bobby had stayed to finish some paperwork, but was beginning to pack up for home. A phone rang in the room, and Bobby glanced up, making sure there was someone else there to answer it. His eyes stopped when they glided over Kindra Hudson, one of the stations administrative assistants. It was way past 6; she should have been gone long ago. Goren called over to her "Kindra, shouldn't you be out on a date right now?"

Across the room, Kindra smiled and began to walk toward Goren's desk. "Right back atcha, Detective."

Goren smiled, stood and grabbed his coat. "Come on, I'll walk you out."

A few minutes later they were standing out on the sidewalk in front of the building, both of them breathing in the cool night air. Goren finished the joke he was telling her, and they both laughed. 

"Want me to walk you to the subway?" Goren asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine." Kindra touched his arm in the _thank you_ kind of way and started down the sidewalk. "Goodnight Detective."

"Goodnight Kindra. See you in the morning." Goren headed in the other direction.

He'd been watching from the other side of the street, hidden in the darkness of a doorway, the building closed for the night. She was coming out the door, The Big One holding it open for her. He'd seen him before. The Big One said something, and she laughed. The sound of her laughter, her smiling at him, she touched him! Rage began to swell up in his stomach. He had seen some spark between them, he'd have to put a stop to that, and soon. He had to be near her, had to smell her. It was sweet torture to be so close, and not be able to touch her. Once, on a crowded subway, he'd gotten up the courage to lightly brush a hand against her hair. She couldn't have felt the movement, but she must have sensed his presence, because she glanced over her shoulder at him, then quickly glanced away. It had been risky, but, oh, how he had relived that moment, over and over again. The softness of her hair, the instant her eyes met his. In his fantasies she'd smiled at him then, a shy smile. They talked. He got off the subway with her and walked her home, she'd asked him inside for coffee, and they'd talked and kissed until dawn. A group of kids ran past him, laughing and hollering at each other. It brought him out of his daydream just in time to see Kindra slip out of sight, down into the subway.

Kindra smelled his cologne before she felt him behind her, and by then it was to late. She felt the sharp point of something in the small of her back, and his hand on her shoulder. "This way" he whispered into her ear, and tightened his grip to lead her away.

When the phone rang, Bobby had finished dinner, and was settled in, reading. He answered, already putting the book down and reaching for his shoes. Alex's voice came out of the receiver "Goren, Kindra Hudson's been raped and badly beaten, she's on her way to the hospital now."

"I'm on the way." Goren answered, hung up the phone and walked out the door.

At the emergency room, Goren found Eames talking to a doctor in the hallway. "She's bruised and torn. She has a few small cuts on the small of her back, and on her stomach. Looks like the tip of a knife, they're not deep, they almost look like he didn't mean to cut her, just applied too much pressure." The doctor stopped and looked up at Goren, skeptically.

"This is my partner, Detective Goren." Eames told the doctor "Please, go on."

"Well, he did a number on her face. Nothing's broken, but she'll take a while to heal."

"Can we talk to her?" Goren asked.

"You can, she'll be groggy from the pain meds, but she should be able to talk. You'll only have a few minutes before she's asleep."

"Where'd it happen?" Goren asked while they were waiting for the elevator.

"Subway bathroom, down the street from the station. She was laying half in, half out of one of the stalls when a commuter found her."

"We'd left the office together, it must have happened right after I saw her."

The elevator arrived and they got on, riding up in silence.

"Kindra, are you awake?" Kindra's eyes fluttered open at the sound of her name, and saw Eames leaning over her. Her eyes surveyed the room, and found Goren at the foot of her bed. She seemed satisfied she was still safe and sighed.

"Yeah." But the detectives could tell she was just barley awake, her eyes were half way closed.

"Kindra, can you remember anything?" Goren had moved up to sit in the chair on the other side of the bed from Eames. He was leaning in toward her.

"Perfume." Kindra muttered as her eyes were closing further.

"Perfume? Like aftershave, cologne?"

"Heavy." Kindra's voice was down to a whisper.

"Heavy. The man was heavy? Kindra…?" Goren's voice trailed off. He looked up at Eames. "She's asleep."

They moved out into the hallway where they could talk. "There was no presence of seaman, they did the rape kit, scraped under her nails…" Eames read from the notes she'd taken earlier, then looked up at Goren. "Want to go to the scene?"

By the time they arrived, the bathroom had been taped off, and one of the CSU techs was crawling around on the floor. He looked up at Goren and Eames when they came in. "Hundreds of hairs. Maybe even thousands. We're collecting all we find, but I doubt it'll help much." He went back to his work.

Goren and Eames walked out of the bathroom, and surveyed the uniformed officers talking to passengers. All the interviewees were shaking their heads. No one had seen anything. Eames sighed and they both headed for the exit.

Outside, Goren spoke for the first time since Kindra had fallen asleep. "There's nothing else we can do until she wakes up."

"Yeah. Meet you at the hospital at 7?"

"Ok."

Eames walked back to where they'd parked the car. "Wanna lift?" She called back to him.

"No, I'll walk, thanks."

He didn't walk home; he walked back to the hospital. He checked in with the nurses' station on Kindra's floor, identified himself and told them he was going to be in her room. He sat in the same chair next to the bed, watching her face. Through out the night, he saw the nightmares come, her eyes scanning rapidly back and forth behind her eyelids, her mouth opening, as if to cry out. Each time, Goren would take her hand in his; gently stroke her forehead and mummer that she was all right. It seemed to help, she would calm down until the next nightmare began.

Around 7 the next morning, Eames walked into Kindra's room carrying two cups of hospital coffee. She handed one to Goren. "Here, you look like you need it."

"Thanks." He didn't bother to ask how she'd known he was already there. Partner telepathy. 

"Did she wake up at all?" Eames asked, reaching down and brushing a few strands of hair off Kindra's forehead.

"No, she didn't." Goren answered quietly.

Kindra stirred and a moment later, opened her eyes. Goren and Eames watched her. They saw the momentary confusion on her face, asking herself why she was in the hospital, and then they saw her answer herself. Her eyes darted back and forth as she replayed what had happened to her. Her face contorted with pain and horror at the memory. Eames understood, Goren could only sympathize.

"How do you feel?" He asked, knowing it was a stupid question, but he was trying to bring her back to the present, take her out of the memory.

"Thirsty. Everything hurts."

"I'll get you some water." Eames said and left the room.

Goren leaned in closer to Kindra. "Tell me what you remember."

"Pain. That's what I remember."

"Last night, you said 'perfume' do you know what you meant?"

Kindra stiffened beneath her sheets, sucked in air heavily, the smell of the man filling her nostrils and senses, everything flooding back. "It was heavy, he was wearing to much."

Goren could see she was there again, in the middle of the attack. He didn't want her to be, but he had to take advantage while the memory was still sharp. "Can you see his face?"

"No, he's behind me."

"Ok, how tall is he? How strong?"

Kindra searched the memory, trying to verbalize the answers. "Not much taller than me. He whispered in my ear, I don't think he had to bend down. He's stronger than me, but not abnormally strong. He steered me into the bathroom, his hand on my shoulder, tight. And I think he had a knife, there was something poking me in my back." Unconsciously, Kindra's left hand reached up and touched her left shoulder, brushing the hospital gown a way; Goren could see the bruising in the shape of fingertips. "I kept hoping that someone would be in there, that something would make it stop. Have you ever seen an empty subway bathroom?" She asked, and gave one of those snort laughs that almost sounded like choking. 

Eames came back into the room, followed by a nurse carrying a pitcher of water. Eames saw what was happening and stopped in her tracks. The nurse took one step past Eames, not understanding that she couldn't interrupt. Eames grabbed her elbow and held her back. The nurse looked at Eames, then back toward her patient. She finally got it, and took a few steps backwards.

Kindra continued with the memory, watching it in her head, like she would a movie. Only she could feel this movie. "There wasn't anyone there, in the bathroom. He pushed me into the last stall, the one farthest away from the door. He pushed me into the wall, hard, and held me there. I heard him lock the door." Kindra let out a small moan, and silent tears began to slip down her cheeks, this was when she had realized this was going to happen, there wasn't anything she could do to stop it. "He pushed himself against me, pinning me to the wall. He's _not_ taller than me, his head was right next to mine….He grabbed my hair, and pulled my head back. I saw the knife out of the corner of my eye, then he blindfolded me and spun me around to face him…he slammed me against the wall, then he…he…" She began to sob deeply, the blankets covering her heaving. Goren's chest tightened, but he swallowed it away and took her hand in his. He leaned in, just a little closer.

"Shhh. You said he whispered in your ear. I need to know what he said."

A few more sobs escaped from her as she tried to regain control. "He said, 'I saw you. I saw him. I saw you touch him. You were laughing at me, weren't you? You're mine, and I won't let you forget it.' He was _so_ angry." Her hand tightened around Goren's, emphasizing the 'so'. 

"Ok, you did good. Alex and I will come back later to check on you." Goren rose from the chair, but Kindra held on to his hand. He looked down at her.

"You gonna get him, Bobby?"

"We'll try like hell."

She let her hand drop from his grip and Goren headed out into the hall with Eames. He passed the nurse who was hurrying to comfort her patient.

"Damn. Not much to go on." Eames muttered looking at Goren. "Who do you think he was talking about?" Eames asked, referring to what the attacker had whispered.

Goren looked at her. "Me" he said.

_He was in his car in the parking lot, watching the door to the hospital. He'd seen the small woman cop go in a while ago, but there'd been no sign of The Big One. That was good. Maybe he wouldn't want Kindra anymore, now that they had been together. He let his mind relive the previous evening. Kindra had been so beautiful. He felt her arms around him; he could still taste her mouth on his. She was so passionate and so loving at the same time. His mind had created a memory that was so vivid, his reliving so enveloping, he almost didn't see the woman cop coming out of the hospital. The Big One was with her, how'd that happen? He couldn't have missed him going in, it wasn't possible to miss something that big. He stopped short, his breath caught in his throat, his eyes wide. He'd been there all night. He'd been with her **all night**. Damn him. Damn her. He would have to teach her again._

The Major Case squad doesn't investigate rapes, but there was no discussion about who would handle it, there was no need to, this was one of their own. 

They arrived back at One Police Plaza, and started up the steps. Bobby stopped half way up, turned around, scanning the other side of the street. 

"What?" Eames asked from a few steps above him.

"He saw us leaving last night. We said goodnight right there." Bobby pointed to the sidewalk. "He had to be watching from somewhere over there." His arm moved up, so he was pointing across the street. "Probably right there." He said, singling out the doorway straight across. He walked back down the steps and across the street, Eames right behind him.

"Get CSU over here, tell them to dust for finger prints along the walls." Goren motioned up and down "Just in this area. There probably won't be any, but I want to know for sure." 

Kindra was allowed to go home later that afternoon. Captain Deakins had already arranged appointments with one of the SVU psychiatrists, Dr Huang. He'd also arranged for Kindra to have as much time off as she needed. Bobby wasn't sure her apartment was the best place for Kindra, her attacker obviously had been watching her, and he must know where she lived. He and Alex took Kindra home and helped her pack a few things, then they headed to Alex's apartment. Goren and Eames had convinced Kindra she would be safer there than at home.

Two weeks went by and nothing had happened. Kindra hadn't seen her attackers face; none of the commuters had seen anything and the lab had 863 strands of hair collected from the scene. The case was dead in its tracks.

Kindra had almost healed, physically. Mentally she was just beginning, but she knew that staying locked up inside Alex's apartment wasn't helping. She wanted to go home, needed to go back to work. Deakins was reluctant, he didn't think she was ready. "Captain, if I don't start to get on with my life, this will end up _being_ my life, and I won't let him hurt me any more than he already has." 

"Alright." Deakins knew there was no arguing with her.

_He had to see her; the need was too great to push away anymore. He knew she wasn't at home. He'd missed her leaving the hospital, but he'd watched outside her apartment that night, the usual lights and movement weren't there. The next night, he waited outside the station, in a different doorway, and when The Big One walked out, he followed him home. Almost lost him a few times, he was so far behind. Kindra had to be there, with him. The very thought of her running to that ox so soon after their time together made him sick. That Bitch. He watched the cops' apartment all the next day, hiding himself when the cop left in the morning. There was no activity inside. She wasn't there. Where the hell could she be? He'd been reading the papers. Kindra had been all over the front page for the first few days, but she hadn't even been mentioned the last few days. He'd read that she'd been raped. He was confused at that, until he realized that that's what she had **had** to say, to explain to The Big One. He wondered if she was thinking about him, and their moments together. The next morning, after spending a restless night, Kindra's face looked up at him from the paper._

_She was going back to work, the article reported. He'd see her again. His heart began to pound._

He had a job. He was a waiter. He knew that if he'd had a 9-5 job, he wouldn't be able to be with her as much. As it was, he had to be at the restaurant at the beginning of Kindra's first day back to work. He was **aching **for her, was distracted and short tempered with his customers. Even with his distraction, he couldn't help but notice two customers arguing. Both men were getting angrier began yelling. The red haired man stood, pushing his chair back so hard it fell over. The other man, short, with dark hair, stood as well, grasping the steak knife as he rose. The red head flung himself at the other. The knife coming up, almost on it's own, and lunged itself into the stomach of the red haired man. Screams and chaos filled the restaurant. Someone yelled for an ambulance. He just stood there, not knowing what to do, watching everyone running around in circles. 

The police arrived moments later. _No, he thought to himself. It can't be._ Goren and Eames walked in the door and headed toward the man with the knife in his stomach. The paramedic looked up at them as he shut his case "He never had a chance." Eames looked up at Goren, and then moved away to begin interviewing the witness' who hadn't already left. Goren spent a few more minutes with the paramedics, then he himself began to talk to witness'. _ He's headed toward me…All right, keep calm, he doesn't know about you and Kindra, just take deep breaths, and be cool. _ "I'm Detective Goren, Major Case Squad. Did you see what happened?"

_"Yes, I saw the whole thing. It happened so fast, I couldn't stop it."_

"Your name, please." Goren had his notebook out, pen poised over the paper.

_"Mark. Mark Cartwright."_

"Could you tell me what happened."? 

_He told him. Answering the few questions The Big One interrupted with. _

"So you know what the assailant looks like?" Goren asked when he was done.

"Yes, I do. I don't think I'll ever forget."

"I'll need you to come down to the station, sit with a sketch artist."

"Um, all right, I can do that. Anything you need." He smiled, I can see Kindra, he thought to himself. 

Goren cocked his head at the man, not understanding the smile. Decided it was nothing more than friendliness "You know where the station is?"

He almost laughed out loud, if you only knew, you big ox. "Yes, sir, I do. Should we go now?" 

In the car, with the witness in the back seat, Bobby opened the windows for some fresh air. The witness' sweet smelling aftershave, mixed with the restaurant cooking odors, stale cigarette smoke and what had to be sweat was almost overwhelming. 

When they arrived at the station, Goren pulled up a chair to his desk and made a 'have a seat' motion. The witness wasn't paying attention to him; he was looking around the room. "Mr. Cartwright?" getting his attention, he made the 'have a seat' motion again. "I'll find the sketch artist. Be right back."

"Guys never been inside a police station before." Goren quipped to Eames. "He's looking around like he's going to see something special." 

Kindra and Deakins walked out of the Capitan's office and met Goren in the hall, the sketch artist right behind him. "Goren, I want you to look into the Mendenthal murder. Night shift can't get a handle on it; I want to know what you think. Kindra will bring the reports over to your desk."

Goren sat on the edge of his own desk as the sketch artist coached details out of the witness. He wasn't searching around the room anymore, Goren noticed, but he did keep glancing over toward the door. Kindra walked up behind Goren. "Detective, here are the files Capitan Deakins wants you to have." 

"Thanks Kindra." Goren took the files from her.

"Detective Morgan's notes indicate that…" Kindra stopped, mid sentence. Goren looked at her, worried. Her nose twitched, like she caught a whiff of something foul. 

"Kindra?" He asked, reaching out and taking hold of her arm. "What?"

Kindra looked at Goren, sadness and fear filled her eyes. She backed away from the desk, positioning herself behind Goren. She pulled at his jacket, his hand still on her arm; she pulled him off and away from the desk.

"That's him," she whispered.

Goren had taken Kindra into Deakins office. Eames and ADA Carver sat, listening to her. "That's him. I know it is. That's the way he smelled, to much damn cologne." Kindra was pleading with Carver. She could see he didn't believe her. "That's him" she insisted.

"Kindra," Carver began. "I have no doubt that is the man that raped you. But I can't prove it. There was no physical evidence, no witness'. You yourself said you never saw his face. I can not arrest a man because of the way he _smells_." Her instincts were right, he didn't believe her. 

Carver was standing against the wall, facing the captain's desk. Kindra had been sitting in a chair, also facing the captain. She got up, and walked over to Carver, her face inches from his. "_Counselor_" she almost spat out the title "If you had felt his hand digging into your shoulder, his knife digging into your back. If you had felt his breath against your ear. If you had to breathe in that stench, if you had felt him…" Kindra stopped, on the verge of tears. She swallowed hard and continued. "You would know, that **that's him**." She pulled herself away, and walked to the window, looking out, her arms crossed against her chest, trying not to cry. Eames came up behind her, putting a hand on her back, Kindra jumped and Eames backed away.

Goren walked up to her. "Kindra" she didn't respond. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "I can get him, but I need you to be strong. Can you do that?" 

"Mr. Cartwright." Eames approached him, still seated at Goren's desk. "Sorry for the delay, little police business. We actually have a suspect; we'll need you to pick him out of a line up. Could you stay a few more moments? It'd be very helpful."

"Of course I can. Anything to help."

"Good, glad to hear it. Uh, one thing. We have anther line up going on, we'll have to put you on the inside of the interrogation room two-way mirror. You know, like on TV?"

_"Whatever I can do."_

He stood and turned to follow Eames. By getting him to turn around, Eames had put Kindra's desk directly in his sight line. Goren was there, sitting on the edge of the desk, leaning down close to her. Kindra was smiling and looking up at Goren, both of them laughing quietly. It was obviously an intimate conversation. 

"Mr. Cartwright?" Eames had moved down the hall, and had the door open. Cartwright looked over at her "In here please." Cartwright began to walk toward her, glancing back at Kindra and Goren. Goren was standing now, motioning down the hall, where Eames was waiting. Kindra nodded and giggled. Goren smiled and walked away from her. Kindra glancing around the office, guiltily, wondering who had seen them. She didn't look in Cartwright's direction.

"Mr. Cartwright?" Eames repeated. He pulled himself away, and walked into the room. "We'll be with you in just a few minutes." Eames said, and shut the door. 

He looked around. Yeah, it was just like on TV, he could clearly see the room on the other side of the mirror. A table and a few chairs. His mind was drifted back to Kindra. How could she? After everything she'd meant to him, everything they'd shared…To flaunt The Big One right in front of him. That Bitch. I'm going to have to…he stopped. The door in the other room was opening. It was him. Goren. The ox. He shut the door behind him and sat at the table, watching the door he'd just come through. Obviously waiting for someone, for the suspects? No. Kindra. Cartwright began to twist his hands, he can't have her, he can't. She's… The door opened again, Kindra stepped in, turned to see if anyone was watching, the closed the door. She smiled at Bobby.

She sat down next to Goren; they were facing the mirror, giving Cartwright the best view possible. Her hands were shaking. Bobby took them in his own, "He can't hear us. We disconnected the audio."

"Ok." Her voice was shaky and small, but she smiled at him, keeping the show going. "What do you think he's going to do?" 

"I don't know. But he's going to do something." Bobby reached out a stroked her hair, then leaned over, and whispered in her ear. "Just take deep breaths, you're in a building full of cops, he can't hurt you." 

Kindra nodded and giggled, keeping up the performance.

He couldn't stand to watch, but he couldn't look away. How could she? He just didn't understand. Their love was go great, so powerful, how could she turn her back on it? On him? How…what? What's he saying? Why's she laughing? They're laughing at me. They're laughing at me. 

Bobby was still leaning in toward Kindra, talking quietly. He'd gotten her talking about her childhood dog, coaxing her to calm down. As she spoke, he slowly reached into his coat, unholstered his gun, placing it in his lap, finger still on the trigger. Kindra's voice wavered when he did this, but she kept going, looking at him with doe eyes. 

BITCH. BITCH. Who are you to laugh at me??? I'll teach you. He threw himself across the room, and flung open the door.

Goren heard the door slam into the wall in the next room. He was ready. 

"Bitch." He screamed as he opened the door of the interrogation room. "Bitch. I thought I told you that you were MINE, NOT HIS."

In one swift move, Goren maneuvered Kindra behind him and raised his gun level to Cartwright's face, and shouted, "Freeze." Cartwright froze with Goren's gun about a half inch from his nose. Eames and two uniformed officers came through the open door, Deakins and Carver right behind them. The uniforms grabbed Cartwright, pushing him down on the table and cuffing him. 

"Mark Cartwright, you're under arrest for the rape and assault of Kindra Hudson. You have the right to remain silent…" One of the officers picked Cartwright up by the back of his neck, pushed him out the door and down the hall. Eames followed, finishing the Miranda. Deakins and Carver followed. Cartwright never stopped calling Kindra's name, begging her to tell them it was all a mistake, that she loved him. 

Goren turned and looked at Kindra. She had sunk to her knees, crying. Goren sat next to her on the floor, put his arms around her, her head resting on his shoulder, and let her cry.


End file.
